Obesity is a certifiable epidemic in America. I have obsessed about my weight since I was a kid. Life for me has essentially been chubby interspersed with short stints of being lean and very proud of it. Now I'm just plain large. Definitely in the "obese" category by medical standards. As you can image, advising patients on weight loss in my clinic is not one of my strong points. "Physician, heal thyself."
Why is it that being fat is such a stigma? Where did that come from? In elementary school I hated being chubby because of the ridicule. At home I wanted to be skinny 'cause it seemed like the right way to be. (Important note: nobody every made me feel bad about my self image at home).
This really is a cultural phenomenon. A Western phenom. In Central America, where I spent two years on a mission for my church, nobody obsessed about their weight. It was a simple matter of fact. If you were overweight, you were likely affectionately nick-named, "gordo." Just the same if you were particularly skinny, "flaco." I knew several loving husbands that referred to their wives as "gordita." I mean, come on! Imagine what would happen to marriages in our culture if husbands routinely called their wives "my little fatso."
Imagine my shock, in the first months of my mission when people would say, "Elder, por que le salen tantos granos? Y ya se hizo muy gordo, no?" After a delayed moment of translation in my green missionary mind, to my horror I figured out what they were saying. "Elder, why do you have so many zits? And you've really put on a lot of weight, eh?" There was no pussy-footing around cosmetic topics while small-talking in Honduras. I'm frankly grateful for the exposure (culture shock), because it helped put my own self-image in better perspective. They just didn't care much about what you looked like.
Here's the real bothersome issue for me. Some where along the way, I decided that being over weight detracts from my spiritual life, that some how I am violating a basic moral law. So, it was meaningful to make the following observation. I was in a beautiful church building today. Guess what was recently installed? Double-wide seats! Believe it. Maybe you have noticed them too. "What a relief", I thought to myself. While appetites and passions need to be bridled, at least I have a little more evidence today that I'll never have to weigh-in during a priesthood interview.
1 Samuel 16:7.
Thoughts?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
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Aww, what's funny is that J DOES call me his little fatso all the time and I LOVE it! :-) Just kidding! I always wish I could just be happy with myself sometimes. It's those times I have to remind myself that I am a Child of God - and that he loves me no matter what!
ReplyDeleteJason, I like this post. I think most people, men and women, whether they are skinny, average or overweight think about weight issues way too much. As a new parent, it makes me wonder how can I teach my kids to be happy with themselves no matter what size they are.
ReplyDeleteI can't leave a comment on the post below! So, I'll comment here: (about the post below)
ReplyDeleteVery very interesting! I've never really thought about it that way....” Truth alone infers optimism, but optimism alone does not infer truth.” I totally agree! And applying what was said by a spiritual leader(s) to make a righteous judgment about a secular leader...GENIUS!
Great scripture too. I hadn't thought about that scripture in this context before.
Now this post:
I have very mixed emotions about this subject, thus making my thoughts very hard to express. I will try to come back and leave a better comment once I have sorted out my thoughts....and emotions.
This post made me laugh after an exchange Neal and I had yesterday. He was once again reiterating that he thought I would "balloon up all over" when I got pregnant (he is shocked that I haven't). When I asked him why, he said, "you know, because you're kind of a bigger girl." Well, actually I didn't know that. I have never thought of myself like that! Of course, his sister and mom are 5'1" and he weighs 122 pounds, so I guess I can see how I am "a bigger girl" to him.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, this is something I've thought a lot about because I think I was sort of blessed with an innate sense of not caring about my appearance. I also have a good metabolism so weight fluctuations have not been much of an issue. But there is a downside to not caring about those things very much--I have not really felt driven to exercise or eat healthily, etc. I see that I need to live a more disciplined life in those areas, and that it would have spiritual ramifications as well, but my apathy toward my physical appearance kind of contributes to a more general apathy. Anyway, I'm sure I'm in the majority coming at it from this perspective, but it just reminds me that there is this need for balance in all things.
*I meant I was probably in the minority in terms of not caring about my appearance.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind if I cut and paste part of your post into my letter for Ryan this week. Maybe it will calm him down about all the comments he gets about his ears. ;-)
ReplyDeleteFor the past 6 years I've had an issue with my own weight. Nice it's only been the past 6 years but that's 40 years of un checked habits/life style when it came to my health. I don't know if I worry so much about how others perceive me but I worry a lot about my future health. And the future I'm talking about is right around the corner for me. It is interesting that I see the weight as my biggest concern though. I just imagine whatever health issues come my way, if I have less weight on my bones it will be easier to deal with them. But I've said I've been concerned for 6 years. 6 years of worry and not enough action. It takes discipline and I'm really lacking. That for me I think is the most disappointing thing of all.
Wow - I was composing when llcall posted her comment. I think we share similar thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThis has been on my mind for a few years. I have NEVER had the ideal body. Besides being obese I have no health problems, besides asthma which is not weight related, but caused by alleregies. Although, maybe a lack of oxygen has contributed to my weight problems. But I know I can't get away with this for long. It will catch up with me.
ReplyDeleteI also haven't been able to carry babies to full term but once... Could be weight related.
A few weeks after one of my miscarriages I was "visited" by the RS Pres. who busted out her scriptures and her note book and proceeded to turn to section 89 and write out a diet for me and noted the particular verses that she felt pertained particularly to me. Then let me know that she thought I wasn't keeping the commandments because she could "see" that I wasn't, and how could Heavenly Father bless me with a baby when I was being disobedient. Then she called me to be her secretary two months later. I was seriously confused.
I felt totally vindicated while touring the new Draper Temple, where I saw a bench type chair in one of the rooms and realized it was a double wide for extremely obese people. They are still temple worthy and not only welcome, but accomidations have been made for them.
Vindication aside, the more I have pondered about this the more I think my spirit and body are not fully in tune. Not sure it's a "spiritual" issue though, hard to express.
But I do think people put WAY too much emphasis on their looks and it has horrible repercussions on their self esteem. I've never gotten my self esteem from my looks. (Or my spelling for that matter, sorry.)It's never mattered to me.
I also think think the judging has got to stop.A friend told me that pretty soon Fat people will soon be scorned and shunned like smokers. I find that hard to believe, and possible at the same time.
I've been enjoying your posts, keep them coming.
I think the Lord might have a problem with our appearance only if it affects our ability to serve. If our weight, look or feeling about ourselves prevent us from accepting a call, an assignment or duty then it is detracting from our spiritual life (and certainly our spiritual growth).
ReplyDeleteCase in point, a brother in law could not receive a mission call until he lost a certain amount of weight. I didn't realize before that there were guidelines that had to be met. Did the Lord love him less for being obese? Of course not. Did he need to serve a mission? Of course, it was a commandment.
Good point, Emily. I hadn't thought about it that way.
ReplyDeleteJust been eating a cookie while reading this post. Oh how I love cookies. Some days I choose to fight this battle and some days I choose to fight others. It's all about doing our best and some days the best thing for us is a nice big sugar cookie.
ReplyDelete